The Moment I realised I cannot do it all
Author: Brea Date Posted:28 November 2016
November has been an exhausting month for me. But Last Tuesday was the moment I realised I cannot do it all.
My schedule was packed full with personal and business tasks and I was struggling to keep on top of them all. Last week I fell asleep on the couch while feeding my 1 year old. That was the moment I realised I had pushed myself too far and I needed to start delegating.
More and more is expected of mums these days, lots of women I know struggle to keep up with the day-to-day tasks, let alone running a business or working as well. Whether you’re a stay at home mum, working mum or a mumpreneur, we all wish we had a few more hours in the day to get everything done.
The mother load
This struggle needs to stop. Mums need to realise that sometimes you need to ask for help. Sometimes we need to say no and remember what is more important in our lives. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are struggling and nothing wrong with asking for help.
I recently read a news article of the job titles a mum holds on a daily basis. On any given day, I am the personal chef; house keeper; taxi driver; judge; family therapist; hair stylist; food tester; toddler wrestling coach; teacher; daycare provider; personal shopper; mediator and much, much more. On top of that we run two family businesses. There are only so many hours in a day!
The stay at home struggle
Stay at Home Mums can struggle to keep a tidy house with little ones running around. They struggle at making sure their child is not missing out on tasks that their peers would be experiencing in a daycare centre. It can be tough to keep activities at home new and fresh, and they're usually doing it all on a single income.
Working mums juggling act
As a Working Mum it can be tough to keep the house going when you’re out working commuting 9+ hours a day. Then there’s the guilt of not being at home. Add to this the extra costs associated with returning to the workforce - daycare even with its current centrelink benefits is super expensive – and it's a tough gig.
Working from home mums
It is a challenge for Work from Home Mums to balance work needs with little ones running around. They struggle with finding enough time to balance work life and family life. There is constant pressure to always be available for your business. It’s tough to stay professional when a toddler is running around the house naked. There is also a potential struggle with a fluctuating income that comes with the territory of working for yourself.
How did I get so busy?
I have three children aged 3, 3 and 1. I am also a step mum to a 10-year-old who lives with us part time. My children go to daycare two days per week and the rest of the time they are with me. Having very young children makes running a business extremely difficult. They do not understand that mummy needs to take a phone call or send a quick email. They want mummy to pay attention to them whilst they are awake. I do not blame them.
This year I completed an online course called The Recipe for SEO Success. It has taught me about search engine optimisation (SEO) and how to rank in Google. It has truly has been a gamechanger and my head has been spinning since June with how I am going to make all these changes to my websites.
I can pay for someone to manage my SEO but with that service comes an enormous fee. I choose to keep the SEO in-house and the cost is more in my time rather than charge to the business. My children have to be my focus during the day which leaves most of the work to be completed during the night. My youngest can wake 3 + times before settling in for the night which means that late nights are often followed by 5am wakeups.
I needed to allocate my workload better. I needed to stop what I was doing, plan what to focus on, and what can wait. It was time to look at what I could outsource by getting another small business to help.
The PayPal debacle
What tipped me over the edge emotionally and physically this month was a struggle to get PayPal running on my website again. It sounded simple enough This security check is there to benefit the end user and I completely understood with the reasons behind the verification. But I struggled to find enough time to collate all the paperwork and rushed it. I didn’t read the fine print and ended up spending triple the amount of time on the phone trying to fix something that would have only taken 30 minutes if I had sat down and took the time. It took me a total of two weeks to have my PayPal account returned and my business copped a large blow during that time.
Get help where you need it
So, this month I decided to look for a copywriter who can help me with my product descriptions. I found a copywriter through my SEO course – it wasn’t until we connected on the project we realised we lived very close to each other. Sometimes it can help to work with another mum who has similar interests and understands the struggles I face on a day to day basis. Amanda from WorkWords was able to free up my workload. She understood the products and how they could help other mums and dads. Amanda has this way with words that makes me truly envious. She has gone above and beyond her job as a copywriter and I am truly thankful for everything she has done for my business.
This is just one example of identifying something within your business you can get expert help with – to save you time and get it done right so that your business thrives. And you save your sanity!
Help makes all the difference
This week I also decided to do something for me. I deserved a little help with the housework. There is never enough time in the day to get the bigger tasks done - cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning the toilets, vacuuming and mopping done. I struggle with having a cleaner. I love the idea but find it a big invasion of my privacy. I am guilty of doing a quick clean up in the morning – just so we didn’t look like we lived in a dump. Be Honest - who hasn’t been guilty of doing this when a cleaner is coming into your house. The feeling afterwards was magical.
My house gets cleaned but when you have two 3 year olds and a 1 year old constantly in the house it does get cleaned in sections. To walk back into the house and see all the bathrooms clean, the kitchen clear, the loungeroom without toys and clothes thrown about, the tiles white again. This was like Christmas had come early.
In additional to having a little help this week I also decided to take a break from night work for just one week. I caught up with the Gilmore Girls Netflix release and went to bed early. By just relieving myself from a couple of my tasks and taking the much needed R&R I have been able to clear my mind and focus on what is most important in our lives.
Remember why you are doing it
It is important that you understand that we all struggle with life and that we are not supposed to do it all. Sometimes your budget may not allow you to outsource your help. In these instances, you might need to be a little bit savvy and cut a few things that are not important in life. Most of all make sure you make some time for you. Celebrate yourself and all you have done for your family.
Fantastic Advice for MumsBy: Daryl Ansell on 7 December 2016Having watched the awesome job my fantastic wife did as she stayed at home and looked after our kids in their early years I witnessed how hard and at times lonely it can be. Exceedingly rewarding but very tough at times. Blogs such as these are so important to other women in the same position. They let them know that they are not alone and also show how one person has dealt with it very successfully. Well Done!!!!!!!!!!!!
FinallyBy: Jennifer Edwards on 1 December 2016Very pleased you did that. I can now tell you most had commented on how tired you looked. November was a big month. If you don't look after yourself you will loose part of what makes you whole. Keep up the things you can outsource and concentrate on the important stuff: remember it's you who has to decide what is important.